Thursday, June 30, 2005

OMGOURDOMGOMGOMGOMGOURD

My bassist fractured his left wrist!!!!
No jamming for a month. At least. I think.

Why is everything leaving me?

He will carry me through..

This sucks.
Respire
and in the multitude with one voice spoke - nhsb

I found the CD with our 2003 SYF recording and there I was back in VCH, standing infront of a 300+ strong audience, with only my timpanis to hide - my legs. The adrenaline rush, the music, the joy of playing with 79 others in sync for us seniors' final shot at glory... Silver.

From tears of joy the previous (and our first, silver too) SYF, to tears of disappointment. Of course, I never shed any. I'd like to think that my batch was the 'golden-era', with the highest number of quality and passionate players ever to enter the band. Our effort deserved a gold (so did every other bands'), but music-wise, I'd have to admit, our potential wasn't unleashed fully. Yet our conductor, bless his soul, just couldn't do that. Pity.
___

With the deadlines pushed back, I hate to admit this, I am taking things easier now. Maybe it's okay to take a breather, but I have been taking 2 days of 'breathers'. Eeep. Web Design is making me feel listless.

Been an uneventful week so far, with me wandering aimlessly after school hours, going for power swims (and whee I forgot to bring my TOWEL) before class and hanging around the sports complex, tempting myself by watching the womens' soccer team train. Seems like a girl being able to kick a ball still does call for a big ra-ra fest. Some much-needed catching up with my family and friends was on the cards too, so I guess the break wasn't too much wasted after all.

So today, after some um, screwed-up radio dallet attempt (no thanks to ahem, distractions, from Sir Felix the Tan), I had some nice catching up with Anne over lunch. Alright I didn't prepare my stuff well to begin with, but I digress. Anne and I agreed that it was weird how now that we hardly see each other, our lives are pretty much different from the past; save the fact that it is quite mundane now.

The usual Thursday jam will not materialise tonight. It is postponed to Sunday, and I can't wait. Seems like music and sports are the only 2 things keeping me afloat now. And of course, my Father in heaven.

Pardon the scanty post - too much on my mind.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

decant

A leopard will never change its spots.

self-destruction's route
precedes the soul
in setting its foot
on a cold december's foe


Sorrow fills my heart for you.
But still, God prevails.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Sting
borderline - chris de burgh

A flash - it changed thousands of lives
these scattered bees, now void of a hive
bounded by anger and hate, bitterness and pain
revenge, an instinct
coursing through their veins

They smash through bushes of roses
buzzing in on the trail of their assailant
yet suddenly he stops, laughs and turns
up comes a nozzle; he sprays.

Honeyed words stream on pulp
Wax figurines plastered across screens
Moulded into the Advocate's eye
the hexagonal viewfinder for the world
a story for foxes to covet and buy

Can you hear her tears?
Would you smell his fear?
Have you seen her cries?
Do you feel his screams?
Shall you taste their grief?

who is the devil, you or i?

Monday, June 27, 2005

Clocks and Chapters
bartender - dave matthews band

I just looked out of my window and saw a Liverpool, Arsenal AND Man U jersey hanging on the neighbour's bamboo poles (that neighbour has a son).
I shall hence restrain myself from commenting further.

Anyway.

Ari, this 'want' we have has been inculcated for years into generations all over the world. America's stature has always been awed by millions across the globe from a long time ago. I don't have SCV but yes, FOX News is pure propaganda - as confirmed by my tutor. I wish I'd known my psychology better to go into details, but I'm quite lazy to type another long post amidst my busy schedule, haha.

Thanks for your timely insight, too. I was beginning to find blogging proper thoughts to passive audiences boring.

***

Well, first up! Bennie is 12 today (finally)!



Next, Nurul turns 18 today!! Happy legal 18th! All the best yeah, womany. Get sluttierrh! :D

So let's enjoy the happy Beni before she turns angsty.

KIM JAEHYEON IS BACK FROM KOREA!! For a month, that is.
Not the President or some other Kim-TV-star lah. Just a dear brother whom I sorely missed. :)

***

Comiss essay is 90% completed. I was having a crazy headache last night while fine-tuning the essay, coupled with an irrrrrritant, so I had no choice but to include Baygone in my words. It was a first for me, nghh.

Patience and niceness are virtues; yet it does me no virtue - when after cockroaches climb ontop of my head, they push their luck further by trying to lay their eggs.

The woman's curse isn't much help either.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Imperial Cults
where do broken hearts go - whitney houston

Arikazari:
What you have just said is what we call 'Cultural Imperialism', as learnt in the module the essay is for - Communication Issues.

This is my take on the US of A.

America are the worlds' masters of marketing; almost everything they come up with is what sets the trend. America has managed to flourish and grow over the many years since their split from Great Britain on July 4th, 1776 - Independence Day. Abraham Lincoln, I believe, laid the greatest foundations for the build up of the American prowess in the 18th century. There's too much to expound - you can read more about what he did here.

The 20th century was also known as the American Century, with their pivotal roles as superpowers in the wars which took place. By the 1990s, America had established their control as a 'hyperpower' of sorts. You can say that they were a hegemon - not only did they have political influence over the world, they also had vast economic influence. There is a theory that America's stronghold can be seen from the many countries that adopt the Washington Consensus, but that is also widely debated. On a personal note - the Wall Street certainly does pull much weight on the world's economy. There're always constant comparisons of currencies against the US dollar, and this is but the tip of the iceberg.

If it interests you to know, a think tank was established in Washington D.C. in 1997, called the Project for the New American Century (PNAC). It's a non-profit organization which aims to promote "American global leadership". FOX News regular and Weekly Standard editor William Kristol is the chairman, and the group's prominent past and present members include those from the Republican Party and Bush Administration, and basing most of their ideas on neoconservatism. That, too, is debatable. One word about this group: controversial.

My purpose of bringing this up, is to further emphasize America's power-hungry status; how they are determined to upkeep their influence over the world itself. What a wonderful source of revenue, isn't it? Not local (which they already have a huge market), not regional (ditto), not continental (it is a continent of its own!), but the world. And they are doing it good, I must say. Of course, with China coming up strong, they definitely feel their position being threatened. One thing is that I still can't figure out why Bush is doing things in such a way, and my view's another story - which I would rather not blog about.

America has managed to set the world's standards, so to speak. They do have the ways - and more importantly, means - to come up with new ideas and export them to the world successfully, and we should give them the credit for that. Perhaps with major competition - China's rising economy - we can wait for more new products to come our way, provided that the US doesn't fall into the habit of playing around with diplomacy issues again.

Singapore's youth and limited resources will definitely see us looking at the established nations as a template, but yet we still do need to rely on ourselves to break free from following tailcoats. Especially if we seem to only manage verbose about how America is 'just too influential for their own good'.
.
.
Omgourd I just realised that the last paragraph is SO national education.
-______-''

References: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 2005

Saturday, June 25, 2005


an aeroplane glides into the gloom
leaving a silent trail above the moon
slowly it fades, a shadow of gray
a painless reminder
of april thirteenth, that day.


How I regret that weak display.
I changed my whole train of thought and essay focus during a 10 minute walk home,

found my research areas and applicable theories in 1/2 an hour -

and finished my portion of the essay in 2 hours. Gosh. Shall fine tune it tomorrow.

My qualm is that I have a word limit to adhere to, thus the prevention of delving deeper into research and examples.

Well, I hope it is good.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Insouciant Youth
#41 - dave matthews band

Note to self:

Study - Everything.

Anyone wanna watch Initial D with me? And add Mr & Mrs Smith, Madagascar and STAR WARS to the list, too.
Hi, my name is Barney. Or should I say Barney-ta.


OMGOURD I'm SO not funny.

time twirling the troubles
yesterday weaving its way
around today's light
smattering dusts of sea
wherever your eyes flounder

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Internet Idiosyncrasies
so right - dave matthews band

I'm having a ball of a time (literally going round and round) trying to pinpoint how America has extended cultural imperialism via the internet and has created an erosion of our unique culture and identity. Yes, yes. We don't have much of one to begin with, but the existence of various religions and ethnic groups makes us what we call 'a multi-cultural society'. And from these religions and ethnic groups, ethics and values are formed. Do they not attribute to our culture?

Culture
[adjective]
relating to the habits, traditions and beliefs of a society.
(Cambridge Dictionaries Online, © Cambridge University Press 2004)

My left brain and right brain are both storming (pardon the corniness) against each other to think how we have deteriorated, morally. Morals do fall under beliefs, don't they?

Okay that's a rhetorical question. If I were still questioning my own thesis at this point of time, I ought to be schlarpped. Specifics... Examples... Explanations... Conclusions... INDEX CITATION... RAHH.

Harrumph. Won't spend too much time here, but ho hum.

(Almost) last-minute work stimulates my brains to work harder and think further.

And I have been self-evaluating much. An activity which is long overdue ever since chapters were turned.

Kick habit.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Extreme Gravitas
louisiana bayou - dave matthews band

Major scare! My Symnatec virus scan popped up in my face this afternoon, proclaiming that it has found a TROJAN VIRUS. ARGH.

Then the nicey virus scan quarantined it. PHEW.

THEN MY COM HUNG. ARGH!!

Then it worked again. PHEW.

Then it found another virus -___-

And I deleted them without any hesitation. Outoutout!!!

My poor heart cannot take this. It is struggling enough to keep my self-discipline in check already, and teeny trauma-games tries to punk it here and there. Rahh.

I still DETEST my timetable. Either I'm too free, or I'm too busy. How's that sound?

Sucky.

Alright, DMB shall be my accompaniment as I

MUGMUGMUG.

Why do they call it 'mug' anyway?

This gives the word.... 4 different definitions.
Cup, face, rob, study.

No link.

edit00:54___ Ooh.
MUG noun [C] MAINLY UK INFORMAL
a person who is stupid and easily deceived

No wonder.. If you are stupid, you study like mad. Something like that.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Guess Who I ran into Today?
stolen away on 55th and 3rd - dave matthews band

Don't tell me you don't. -__-'

Pardon the typo at 'life' - it's 'live'. Anyway, the think-of-food-must-eat symptoms are coming. I feel a pimple forming on my chin too. This only means one thing.

NOOOOOOOoooooo.....!!!

Man, it is times like these I hate being a woman.

ARGHHGHGHHGh!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Alimony
yesterday - the beatles

This is the WORST time to fall sick.
Worstworstworst!!

I played tennis with my care group assistant/RI-boy/Clan TDA member (phwoah!) at school this morning before IS. My backhand is slightly better! At most a 40% success rate now -.-'

Before that I was sniffling and I thought that I was just having morning sinus (which I'm prone to have because of my erm, larger-than-thou nose), and after playing sports I usually would be fine.

Wrong.
My nose went ballistic. When I sneeze too much, I will have slight hyper-ventilation - and the only way I can breathe easier is by lying down and taking a nap. Thank God that today was consultation and it was a forgiving 30min in a classroom/freezer (I counted a total of approximately 30 sneezes in there) before I scooted home to sleep.

Sleep.. It didn't do much help.

Weird dreams bombarded my sleep. I actually dreamt of the skeleton in my closet. It was so, so freaky. I was escaping in all methods possible. And they kept coming after me.


When will I finally burn the bones and rid the ashes?
I hate it when there's no closure.
Gigi is right.


But I can't do no nothing, except to lock the ghosts up..
Till they finally break them chains.
God will prevail.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Hegira
in circles - sunny day real estate

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, DOREEN!
Thank you again, for everything. (: Hope you liked the surprise.. You better do, cos I bled for you, literally! Hahahaha. (:

It's these times when you know that you are going to be holed up in your home doing assignments and projects day in and out - you find all ways and means to find a release.


You take a niceeeee dump in the loo.

:D :D :D

But honestly, I feel very weary just thinking of all the crap which will be coming my way.

It makes me wish that I were a toilet bowl sometimes.

Will you help me tide through this?

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Altercation
so right - dave matthews band

Projects are PILING. Gah humbarg. So irritating.

Mad City 2 was shown in News Writing class today. It is a good movie, well-paced and thought provoking. I am much more positive that I don't want to end up having anything to do with chasing people around with an electronic device even when they are lying helpless on a hospital bed. Or using the most outrageous methods against humanity for a scoop which will, ultimately, benefit the press company in monetary values.

Not at the expense of human values.

I am pretty convicted that the media overplays most 'scandals' or 'gossips'. Especially if it involves a death or some relationship crap. Overplayed, that is the word. Mere mortals can find themselves either worshipped - or ruined - overnight.

The VAST amount of coverage by the chinese newspapers about Chinese/HongKong comedian who hung himself a couple of months ago exemplifies this.

Everyday, for almost a month, news on him were splashed across up to 4 pages. His affair with a multi-talented Chinese actress (whom his wife has even approved of) was pointed as the major factor leading to his death (any other factors were played down), and the poor lady was thrown into the red light as his murderer. Just the implication of her name has deemed her the condemned culprit, whether directly or indirectly.

She had denied all accusations initially. But the media chose to dig out various smses she had sent him, little quarrels they have had (don't all couples quarrel at one point or another??) and played up her negative characteristics.

The world of entertainment in Hongkong (apparently he was quite 'respected' in his circle) turned against her. Death threats, hate posts, blacklisted. Forced into a corner, she finally gave a teary press conference to appease everyone.

Having to end a beloved career in such an ugly light, getting all that flak and even being coerced into apologising for something she had never wanted to happen. Would you want to?

"We (the media) killed him." - Max, Mad City 2.

I wonder if it is the audience who are inherently hungry for juicy gossip, or actually the media who creates the fire for the bush to catch.

I wonder how many thousands - maybe even millions - of people have had their lives so drastically transformed because of the media's ability to influence. For better or for worse, it is left to be said.

Say a prayer for the late Princess Diana.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Lock and Key
with or without you - u2

Had 3 hours of sleep, and here I am. It's WebD now and I after finished my buttons and stuff, I realised that Fireworks is quite.. cool. Ahh I can't believe I'm saying this - it's all the influence of Adeline that WebD freak. Harrumph.

Lock-in Nite was a super big contrast to last years'. Much milder, heh. But I enjoyed myself a lot, even though I aren't the unearthly-hour-person I used to be. Was already in a daze at 4am, when I decided that I should go home to hit the sheets. Sleep is good okay. It is a luxury for us struggling students. Bah.

It is interesting to see how people do try to 'upkeep' that certain 'image' of theirs consciously or sub-consciously, especially if impressing is required. Quite amusing, yet it makes me wonder.
so weird. so different.
It's gonna be a LONG WEEKEND. Ahhhhhhh..............................

bonk: DREAM ON. Wah lau, that was..not funny -.-
del: Yeah that WAS me. (:
shin: Hurhur :D

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Ha Ha Hair
a chick from corea - victor wooten

Pardon the corny title.



I'm fleeepy.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

DDDDDD-day
sunday morning - maroon5

My brother is back from Bali and he bought me a pink and white Roxy handbag. I appreciate his thoughts BUT it totally doesn't suit me!! UGH. As much as I hope I can pull it off, REALLY cannot lah! I'm not the sunshine-girly-bikini-babe type who can wear pink and pink and look sweet. Or act sweet. 'Sweet' is just NOT synonymous with 'Benita'.

So it seems like I bought him an Abercrombie polo tee which he says is too small (he doesn't wear anything that isn't oversized -.-) and he bought me something which doesn't suit me. We are quits. =
Anyhow, I simply can't stand the fact that my beloved Initial D is going to become a over-commercialized.. Show. Everyone will start gushing about cars and drifting and racing - well, good for them if they truly appreciate the beauty of fan belts, but I detest the imminent sight of tons of hormone-charged teensy girlies poseuring as car fans, just because of some mumbler.

"My fAvE cAr iS tHe 86!! So pOwErFuL wOrx, TaKuMi rOx sIaZz!! So kEwT 'N' zAi wOrZ!*~"

"Wah KyOsUkE's Rx-7 sO cOoL sIax! He shO KaWaii aLsO!!"

If you don't know the difference between an FF and an FR, go far, far away. Take an 86 and race it on the roads for real, and I'm sorry to burst your bubble, because that car is only good for downhill races. Maybe you can try going down Mount Faber for your big Os, but you'll be disappointed at its menial horsepower for a sports car. And I mean the original STOCK AE86 Trueno. The one in the show is souped up, duh.

And PLEASE DON'T TRY YOUR 'DRIFTS' IN SINGAPORE. You won't be able to drift without crashing into a pavement or traffic light or innocent pedestrian, nor even go fast enough before being greeted by another traffic light or the traffic police.

Let's get ready for a barrage of #InitialD~LoVeRs~4eVa IRC channels and all those #cAr*cHiOnGsTeRs`uNiTe.

Go make like a turbo engine running without a blow-off valve and explode.

RAHHHHHHH!

Okay I'm off to do my radio and Comiss.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Last
grave digger - dave matthews band

Have you ever wondered why when you're searching for something,
'you'd find it in the last place you'd look'?

Because after you find it, you stop searching.


At Sim Lim Square-
Sony Salesman to Foreigner: "This radio? $140 only."
Foreigner immediately to Salesman: "Give me the real price."

Talk about experience.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Soundbites
walking on the sun - smashmouth

Overheard in town today.

Old man to old lady in a grumpy tone:
"This is what I call window shopping. You only can see, but you cannot buy, understand!"

You could take a little trip around Singapore town...

2 PRC females in a dressing room, loudly:
PRC1 - "Wo de cup size shi B80, ni de shi A75."
("My cup size is B80, yours is A75")
PRC2 - "Na li shi, wo de cup size na-er bi ni xiao!"
("Where got, my cup size where got smaller than yours!")
PRC1- "Jing lai kan yi kan ya!"
("Come in and take a look!")

in a Singapore city bus (no pun intended),

Mother to daughter:
Mother- "Girl ah, follow your daddy first. Mommy wants to go toilet."
Daughter- "I want to go with you!"

to see Coller Quay and Raffles place

Foreigner to foreigner:
"Those durians remind me of drains..."

the Esplanade and all of us...

Lady to husband:

Lady- "Wah, Fila got big sale!"
Husband- "Erh okay. Let's go see."

Because its Singapore...

Manchester United Store cashier to other cashier:
"Oh no, did I press the wrong button?"

Singapore... (NOT MAN UTD)

PRC who stepped onto my toe:
"Sorry, sorry!"
Another PRC who stepped onto my toe in the same sitting:
"Sorry, sorry!"
Me:
"It's okay." -insert benign smile-

Our hearts are BIG and WIDE you'll find...

I saw Osim's iSqueeze promotion, where they placed 2 iSqueezes outside Spotlight, free for all to use.

Because it's Singapore, Singapore..

And it was no less than 10 feet away from OTO, with only a wall to shield it.

You'll find happiness

Welcome to Singapore.

for everyone...

And this, concludes my day alone in town.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Funvies
bedshaped - keane

Watched 2/3 of Ngee Ann band's annual band concert because I had Comiss discussion which is going on now as I type :D I had sent Calvin an email the other day to set differences aside and get this thing good. If he dares to skive again, I shall not hesitate to slam him, upfront or in PEF. As much as I wouldn't want to work with him, circumstances says that I can't run (oh what a difference 1/2hr makes!). And so they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Anyway. Pops 'n' Classics 2005 was pretty impressive, considering how tight the band is now as compared to the last time I heard them. They are much more polished in tone and techniques - the new conductor has done them much good.

Funvies is derived from 'fun' + 'movies' - and they played an oh-so-familiar song, Abba Gold. But, however tight as they were, I felt the music was.. too careful. Too straight. I didn't feel the carelessness in the song, I couldn't sense the love in the music which I felt whenever I played it in NHSB.

Perhaps it's because of the large venue (convention centre) and the acoustics (they weren't miked up I think), proximity counts I guess. In the Attic, their combo band, is good! No wonder Merril forced me at knife-point (okay I exaggerate) to buy the ticket. And yes, I went alone. If I re-joined the school band last year, I'd have been their lead singer.. But that's another story. I still prefer my Subtlety in RED, 'cos drumming is what I want to do. Oh yeah.

I still hate going for band concerts because they only scream in my face 'I know you miss playing in the band!!', yet I can't help but reminisce the good ol' band days.

SIGHH. I think I'll be joining soccer afterall. Just try out okay. Okay?
Okay.
Wish-schlist
squib cakes - tower of power

I want:
  1. A pair of soccer boots.
  2. Tennis racquet.
  3. Tennis shoes.
  4. Running shoes.
  5. Ankle guards.
  6. Knee guards.

and..
A new set of tendons. If possible, limbs would be even better.

Yesterday's soccer was super embarrassing. I slipped twice, my oldschool Reebok's sole split and gave me a bit of a blister. So 20 minutes after I played, I ripped the whole thang off, threw it away, and went to the bleachers. Crappy game it was - even pops didn't play well.

A Happ-iest 15th Birthday to Priscilla my drumming 'protege'! May you grow strong in the LORD and keep HIS ways for as long as you live. Love ya!

Friday, June 10, 2005

Moblog
everyday - dave matthews band

I have a Moblog!

It's the knowing that something is wrong yet you can't place it which is so frustrating.
It's the feeling that things are different now yet you won't admit that they are.

Tell me what I should do.

For now, I shall go sleep.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Durance Vile
everybody wake up - dave matthews band

Have I ever gushed on about how wonderful DMB is?

No?

Are you positive that I've ever declared how wonderful DMB is?

Sure?

I HAVE ever went on about how wonderful DMB is?

Fine.

I'm still going to say that they rock my socks off. It'll be a long while before I get bored of them. Make that never. I'm still in awe of how they manage to come up with music like that. Well, I never.
____

Taking a short breather from STUDYING now. Oh yes, I'm pretty satisfied with myself today because I:

- discussed Communication Issues and came up with our research outlines successfully
We have our focus set and work delegated. All we need is our research and more meetings! :D

- Have come up with 3/5 of my radio script
Transcribing the entire interview is going to be killerahh. Boohoo.

- Am reading through PR notes
Rounds of verbal bullets, but what to do :(

- Updating myself on the news for tomorrow's pop quiz
Jialat man, hardly touched the papers recently.

- Took a good nap in the evening
Ankle's creaking =/

- feel like a Nerd.

School seems slow-moving but there are a ton of projects with deadlines looming! It'll creep up on you like a thief and if you aren't prepared, you're nailed. Screwed. And you can't bolt.

Hmmm.

Just like how if you're not prepared for Christ's 2nd coming.

Reminder to self - NO MORE procrastinating!!

And, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?!
EDWIN VAN DER SAR IS NOW A RED DEVIL.
Poor Tim Howard. He can keep the benches warm this season.
I hope Figo comes in.

Go back to America to run your little casinos, Malcom Lozer. Don't put my legendary club in the firing line because of your BRAINLESS gung-hos!! UGH!

Serene, gail, pearl: Hope it did minister to you guys. (:
karen, Juan: Need I say more? :D
del: OMGourd. I was hoping no one saw that -_-' Thanks anyway! (:
Paragon
number 41 - dave matthews band

Random post:

- Everyone should just listen to DMB and learn and understand what true technique and music is about.

- I woke up at 8:11am and ran to school and strained my right hamstring. Wednesdays are jinxed.

- I need to learn how to set aside differences, now that I cannot run from the situation.

- Felt so tired today, I almost fell asleep while walking.

- My limbs are crazy. I seem to be tapping some beat almost all the time. So unlady-like, as my mom would say. And may I add, irritating. I know it is.

- Realised that many a time, what I thought was, isn't.

- Heard a (apparently reliable) rumour which has shocked me beyond words. If so, that's it.

Sometimes not all the people who matter to you feel that you matter to them.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Anger Management

To those who googled for sggirls.com and came to my blog, please kindly help me tell Mediacorp what sort of people the real picture-post-ers are, and that they are SO wrong by claiming that girls put up gross pictures of themselves FOR UNCOUTH PURPOSES.

Thank you.

>>.<<

Luke 6:27 - 38


27 "But I say to you that hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To him who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from him who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt. 30 Give to every one who begs from you; and of him who takes away your goods do not ask them again. 31 And as you wish that men would do to you, do so to them. 32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the selfish. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. 37 "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; 38 give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get back."


After a great time of hanging out with the youths today, I learnt that it is very important to be a good role model and guide, especially when they run into tests and circumstances. I do bother trying not to sound too preachy, but admittedly, advising still is ends up pretty preachy most of the time - when it comes from someone older. Then again, I am glad that I'm there to keep things in order. And this is something I know God has given me the blessing to.

Temper is something which is the result of ego and pride of many. Whenever someone provokes you, what is the point of retaliation? It reflects badly on
them, not you. It only drags you down along with them when you give retaliate. In other words, with retaliation, you bring yourself down to the level you thought of them as - a low-life creature.

Remember, fighting will never solve things, much less resolve them. What does winning a fight bring you? Your enemy's two front teeth for framing up? How will it edify you besides self-satisfaction -
"Ha, I'm more adequate!"? Don't tell me that a misunderstanding will be cleared just because of a few throws of the fists because you are satisfied that you are physically weaker.

BUT as a Christian, will this edify GOD? How will He feel about you displaying what displeases Him?

The company you hang out with will define the way you behave. I won't say totally, but it will shape your thinking one way or another and adaptation to the groupthink. Deindivuation (losing self-identity) will occur as such.

How does it link? Two scenarios:

(a) You with a bunch of trigger-happy friends getting taunted by a stranger.
or
(b) You with a bunch of peace-loving friends getting taunted by a stranger.

If you are a hot-headed person - in (a), you and your gang will be throwing punches in no time.
In (b), your friends will keep you grounded and you won't be putting your neck on the line.

But, you say, your pride has been hurt.

Ephesians 4:26 - 27 says,
" Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil,"

When we are filled with hate or anger, we're making ourselves so vulnerable to the devil taking control of our heartstrings and manupilating it to his advantage!

That's why we should not let the sun go down on our anger - literally speaking. Keeping anger in our hearts will make us a bitter person; and everything will be cast in a negative light. Halo effects (ignore the pun) will occur - things will end up a vicious cycle.

Having the correct company is very important. No matter how strong a character a person claims to have, he or she is still fallible.

That's why looking right in the God's eyes is what matters. We should not live to please men! When God is pleased, things will turn out for the good (though not necessarily "good" in our own dictionaries) of those who love Him.

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the world and loses his own soul?"
-- Matthew 16:26

And this, is, something which I too have to learn.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Hair Affaire
slower - mineral
[welcome to the emo world]

Monday, June 06, 2005

North of South
crush - dave matthews band

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Playpens
if i aint got you - alicia keys
And I saw you today..I missed you so much. Do you still..? :(
OMGourd.

I just realised that IF I were to join soccer, I am increasing the risk of further ruining my legs - which means that should I get either leg injured, my drumming is going to get affected. And if I should start playing gigs, it's not going to be good at all.

UGH!!

Maybe I should learn how to be a human beat-box. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much.


separate lives - phil colins
You called me from the room in your hotel
all full of romance for someone that you met
and telling me how sorry you were
leaving so soon, and that you miss me sometimes
when you're alone in your room
Do I feel lonely too?

You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
I can't go on, just holding on to times
now that we're living separate lives

Well I have learned, to let you go
and if you've lost your love for me
will you never let it show, oh no
there was no way to compromise
so now we're living separate lives

Ooh, so typical, love leads to isolation
so you build that wall, yes you build that wall
and you make it stronger

Well you have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind

Someday I might find myself looking in your eyes
But for now we'll go on living separate lives
Yes for now we'll go on living separate lives
i really miss you, skank.
Odium
separate lives - phil colins

10 Things I did today:
  1. Find 50 BUCKS on the food court floor (and let an elderly couple claim it theirs)
  2. Eat a dead good Tiramisu cake
  3. Play tennis in MY NEW SHOES
  4. Ate a lot junk food here and there
  5. Interviewed Wen, an interviewer's dream
  6. Blew.. 10 bucks on cheese marcaroni
  7. Watched Gloria perform (Red!) in a sauna pub by the name of Prince of Wales
  8. Blew... 3 bucks on a Coke Light which -
  9. Made me hold a stomachache on the 170 (no. 3, 4 and 6 found guilty too)
  10. Took 3 water-y dumps in succession upon reaching home.
Just did a nice, long fart which took 8 seconds to clear. Whee.
I think I need to go dump again now.
Goodnight!
last chance before the odium.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Recreant
grey street - dave matthews band

I simply groove to this song.

Ithink there's aproblem with my alt-key AND spacebar. It's notvery responsiveanymore. Especially the left side, cos I use my left thumb to do the space bar. So now I have to switch to the right side. Bah humbug. Toshies sux0r.

Adeline, stop smirking behind your shiny new 12" Powerbook G4. Don't think just because you've escaped the clutches of Windows you're sHo cOoL wOrZ.

When when when will I get mine!! :(

Lunched with Jerome, Kiff and Alvin. Sigh, I miss Cambodia.
(removed by author.)

Stop half-dreaminggyftydfytdydjdulgoy7iuqwertyu

So -!!
Snorting Symphony will be interviewing ex-masscommer/Wiierd/Parousia drummer Soh Wenming tomorrow for our radio magazine. And I still haven't found the guts to ask him to teach me drums yet. Sigh. My left hand has become pretty weak, darn. Practise!

ineedtostopthinkingofthewrongthings. ugh.

And you know what? Wake up. It's time to rid of your immature, egoistic thoughts. I implore ye, WAKE UP soon and - take a hike.

It's like after a few tries and being enthusiastic and having all the ideas in your head, you get ignored and then you slip off and stone.

Sorry, I'm being random. Thanks for bearing with it.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Importunate
red - gloria

Today's jam session was great! So was dinner. Thanks, Jenn. ;)

4th of June, everyone! Please go catch GLORIA in action @ a pub called the Prince of Wales, 10pm! It is pretty late, but hey, it will be worth it. Trust me.

Seems like my picture was up on the news again, eh. I'm going to re-send my letter to Mediacorp. This will not do - I don't want to be recognised by my nice, perky butt in future! It's like Steven Lim being identified by his, um, yellow underwear. Only that mine are not saggy. I DOWANNA BE UNDER PUBLIC SCRUTINY because I can't handle the paparazzi.

Because I dUnCh kNoE hOw tO bE kAwAii-NeH wORxXx~! -Does a 1, 2, 5, 10, *bish*-

>>.<<

Dear Ho Tass:

I apologise for further ruining your already-ruined day with the misunderstanding. Honestly, I would really love to have you around in the band because your style makes our music sound real full and great, but reality checks still need to take place. I have enough of taking things for granted (friendships especially), that is why after much thought, I do not dare to compromise anything at whim anymore. I hope you do understand. It is important that I be honest with you and everyone now, rather than ruin things in the long run because of my impulsiveness and tardiness in dealing with situations which I used to have.

Take care alright? I'll see you around. Hope you're feeling better.

>>.<<

XBestie: Get well soon please! We need to get our AD for Radio. Heh take care hOrzz.

P.S. If anymore of you guys continue to see the dreaded picture on TV, PLEASE tag the date, time and channel on which it was aired. Thanks!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Abluation
american baby - dave matthews band
[ The GROOOOOOVE!! Killerrrrrah! ]

ARGHHHHHHH!

My class was at 8am.

I woke up at 8.13am.
Dashed out of the house by 8.20am.

Ran my butt past Gopi, an overhead bridge, a canteen, a block and reaching the classroom by 8.29am.

And for my hard work and effort and sweat and lactic acid,
I was put in the most hardworkingsmartestcoolestkAwAiInEh-est person's group.
Hen. Tai. Go figure.

So I sat there, stunned. And breathless. OMGOURD I couldn't believe my LUCK.

Because I'm going to ACE Communications Issues for all the quadrupled times of hard work and effort I'm going to have to put in.
Because I'm going to have to push my butt and learn how to be more tolerant and independent and become Global Village Commissionaries with Yuxin and Guang Rong (Thank goodness they're in the group too).

K not funny.

But it's not funny when your day is ruined at 8:31am after a flash of relief that you were barely saved from being marked absent.

Like a rollercoaster falling off its tracks when you are still in it, upside down.

Then you get irritated all over again in the next class, where all of a sudden an ex-worm evolves a DRAGON in class, breathing hot air down our necks and happily answering every question that goes NOT his way.

I felt so, so, so tested. Perhaps I was being hypocritical not telling him how irritating he was there and then, but oh my. I'm not a meanie to begin with (teehee), but I was feeling SO bitchy. And I still am.

Ugh, patienceee. It's going to be an uphill battle to change my mindset. Patienceeeee. Pray. PAH.

Then Adeline had to get her Powerbook 12" G4. UGHH. Nevermind, when this special price thingie comes out in July ($100 iPod voucher included!), Adeline will go to a korner and feel sad. :D

And to end of the wonderful day in school, my achilles' tendon ached really badly all of a sudden when I was approaching the atrium and I could hardly apply pressure on my right foot.

Must have been the running in Havaianas.
How to join soccer?! PAHHHH!

At least Gopi, the 96 Master, was there to hear me rant in place of falling asleep.

Oh well. What a day. Just not mine.